Magical Thinking

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“Nobody has the power to make things perfect; but everyone is given countless chances to make things right”

My Diary Entry #1


February 20, 2011

Dear  Dairy,

I've been through a lot lately and I'm feeling the pain slowly eating the good things inside me. I would like to read this blog again and again in the future to reminisce the my past. How have I been, what I've been through, and the reflections I made to create and stronger and better me.  I wasn't expecting to be perfect, I'm just an ordinary human being who in any chance can commit miserable mistake.

First, a made a decision to detached myself into something i do not like. I have to make excuses and leave the company for my betterment. Where am I going? Today, I found myself floating. I dunno what to do and to whom should I come. They say, friendship is best tested during this kind of situation and I can merely see few persons who made me appreciate their existence from the day I meet them til now. So far they didn't let me down. I dunno know exactly how to thank them from the bottom of my heart. But I want to say so, thank you Hiyasmin, Sheng and Ate Tere for being there even just for a talk. Tots, Thank you for all the support and encouragement.

Second, even though how good you are to a person they have always something to say behind your back. It is really hard to accept that fact when that persons is a part of your family member or someone who used to be your friend. I mean trusting somebody for now is the hardest thing to do. I dunno who is who and what is what. I am trying my very best to be nice once again in my life and I don't want to carry the burden anymore. The burden of hating somebody because they're the least person whom I think that an hurt me. I know I can meet those kinds of person every where. All I have to do is.. I dunno yet.. Blend with them? Just act like I dunno what they are doing to be just accepted in this crap society? or make least contact with them. Just stay away from their business and keep myself from butting in in the kind of person. For that, I still have to know my answers to create a mature person in the future

Third, I am hating my parent for the mean time. I know myself it will not be forever but I want them to realize that I am 23 years old already. I want to do things on my own and I want don't want to be dictated on how to run my life. This is me, I have to live alone and I want to become independent as far as I can be. For 22 years of my life I was listening to your wishes all the time. Please I am begging you. This one is for me. I want to give it a try. In that way I can grow.

Just this one for now. I have to go to the church and cry myself out. I think I need a doctor for these depression. BYE.

Please credit all my works by including: msgirlcho.blogspot.com

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